"I think I'm gonna have a May baby, there's no way I'll still be pregnant in June"... Yep that's what I kept saying about a month ago in early to mid May. That's the funny thing about pregnancy, you cannot predict, control or plan anything. You are completely forced to give it all up to God and try to be as "still" as you can be. If you didn't see the post title, I am currently 41 weeks pregnant. One week past the baby's due date. To the mommies out there who have been overdue in a pregnancy, wow I have a whole new respect for you because I now know what it's like. I remember a few weeks before June 6th, the anticipated due date, I was so miserable, uncomfortable and over being pregnant that I couldn't fathom my pregnancy lasting until his due date. I was totally fine with baby G coming a bit early, and since we always get what we want in life (sarcastic voice), I was SURE he was going to come early.
Little did I know that June 12th would roll around and labor would be no where in sight. I feel like everyday is groundhog day- each night I go to bed hopeful that in the middle of the night I'll wake up in massive pain and pure joy in my heart knowing our baby boy was on his way. Then each morning I wake up, in no pain, and not in labor. For over a week now I'm like "okay! Today is the day!" and then... well... the days passes and still no baby. Patience is quite a difficult thing, it takes a massive amount of discipline to keep a positive attitude in the midst of feeling frustrated and impatient. I'm so grateful because I received some advice that was super helpful to my husband and I, someone told us to plan something fun to do everyday that way you have things to look forward to and be excited about other than baby coming. That way if I wake up feeling bummed that I'm not in labor yet, I am thinking at least I get to do blank today. My husband and I have been trying to have a blast with that, we've gone on more fun dates together in the last week and a half than we have in the last few months prior. I have also received more pedicures in the last two months than I have in the last two years, now that has been a real treat! We are trying to focus on enjoying our time together and embracing these last moments we have together before our little guy takes us from two to three.
To be honest though, it's much more difficult than you'd think. Nick and I are both so crazy excited to meet our son and spend time with him, that being patient is quite a task. And for me, there are so many other factors that make me feel impatient, pregnancy at 41 weeks is not too easy. The last two weeks have been difficult emotionally because I got stretch marks. Up until now I was so proud of how beautiful the skin on my pregnant belly looked, and now I have some "battle wounds". Obviously I know it's all worth it... duhh, I get that and I don't need you to remind me. But if I'm being totally honest, transparent and not trying to fake my attitude just in hopes of sounding inspiring, then I'll admit to you that getting stretch marks from pregnancy can be quite emotional. I feel like I'll never look the way I did before I was pregnant, which bums be out because I should have appreciated my body more. It might sound shallow but now I'm wondering if I'll ever get to wear a bikini again. All these things cross my mind and of course I know the result is my beautiful son, but it doesn't mean that body changes aren't hard. I'm sure one day I won't care at all about my stretch marks, but for today it's been very emotional for me to know my tummy will never quite look the same. Something that has helped remind me of what's important is to remind myself that some women can't have babies and would kill to have those stretch marks if it meant having a sweet baby.
It really helps to accept my body changes when I remind myself of the bigger picture. But like I said before, on my blog you'll only find honesty and transparency from me and heck if I'm being honest I've cried quite a few times over these darn stretch marks. Hormones maybe?
I must prep you, if you haven't gone overdue in a pregnancy but do in the future, there are a few things that you'll 100% experience. One is that you will receive a trillion messages a day. "Baby here". "Hey how are you..." (which actually means are you in labor yet?). "I have a feeling today is the day!" And although everyone sending those messages is SO sweet and supportive and of course they only mean well, when you get over 10 a day minimum... it can get frustrating. I've started replying, nope no baby. Ha ha! And the best is every time you call someone, they get crazy excited to pick up the phone and hear you say "I'm in labor!" only to disappoint them by actually calling to ask a stupid question or have some small talk.
The other thing you must know is that you're gonna get bombarded with "TRY THIS" if you go overdue. Everyone has their secret method to how they got their baby out, and trust me a week ago I wanted to know them all! I was googling "how to naturally induce labor" or asking my already mommy friends how they did it multiple times a day. Well, then I tried every single thing on the list and well, still no baby. I have walked, done squats, bounced on the ball for hours, eaten spicy food, eaten dates and pineapple to thing my cervix, had sex, had an induction massage, gotten a pedicure in hopes that the foot rub would do it, and oh ya we have even tried a ton of nipple stimulation (sorry TMI). Well I can honestly say I'm over trying to induce labor. I'm beginning to think that we create all these old wives tales that induce labor because it helps us feel like we have control over the situation. Well, I think the reality is those things might work a bit, but at the end of the day God's timing trumps everything and there is nothing we can do about that.
With all of the frustration, tears, body changes, annoying old wives tales, etc. surprisingly there are a few positives to going overdue. One, like I mentioned before, is the extra alone time with your spouse. I've loved spending so much time with Nick during this overdue stage of pregnancy. I feel so grateful and blessed, I've seen a whole new level of support from him that has just been amazing. He is frustrated and having a hard time being patient too, and it's nice to have each other to lean on during this time. We have gotten to the point where we just try to laugh a lot to take our minds off of baby G not being here yet. I really feel this we are in it together vibe that gives me such a sense of peace and security. I am a truly blessed wife.
Another perk to going overdue is it gives you more time to prepare. We recently moved and although the house was ready enough by his due date, there was still more work that needed done. We still aren't totally done with everything on our list, but during the last week we've made a ton of progress with getting settled in the house, ordering things we need and doing a bit more deep cleaning. I guess you can say we've taken the time to do a bit of nesting and it sure does feel nice.
The last thing I think might be a perk to being overdue is my perspective on labor. There's been a bit of a shift the last few weeks from slight fear of labor to omg get thing baby out of me! I seriously cannot wait to be in pain because it means I'll soon not be pregnant and I will have our baby in my arms. I truly think because I've been pushed to my limits with pregnancy it will mentally prepare me for embracing labor and delivery better. I think I will welcome it with open arms and be more mentally in the zone once it's here. Every time I feel a cramp or a pain I get excited and start hoping that it's the start of labor. Who knows if when I do go into labor I'll still feel the same way, but I sure do think the mental shift will help me embrace labor that much more.
I pray the next post I write is welcoming baby Greco into the world. I am so ready and eager to meet him and to shift from my pregnancy journey to my mommy journey. Thanks for following along throughout this whole pregnancy.